First Lieutenant Quest.

Mabye a lot of you don't know about this quest. And if you do, then this means you nearly killed yourself doing it too.


Yes, I said Too.


This quest...


DROVE ME ROUND THE BEND.


For those that don't know what that means, it basically drove me insane. But "drove me round the bend" sounds better.

Anyway...


This quest has 3 parts to it. The first part is about qiqirns disguised as humes, and you have to use your "phychic" powers to tell which ones are humes and which ones are actual qiqirns.



Now, I quote "phychic" because SE somehow think that every player on FF has phychic powers. Believe me, this part is a lot harder than it sounds.



The second part is talking jibberish.

...

Well... it came across as jibberish to me.


Basically, you get given a manual of words that are equivalent to some words of the english language, and have to memorize them. Or you could just look in ffxiclopedia. This language is kinda like the al bhed language in FFX, but this time, it doesn't make sense.

This part is easy, because you only need to select the same words the order that it comes up in.



The third part is EXTREME ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS.

Again, this is highly exaggerated by me yet again, because the minigame is actually called BCG (Beetle, Crab, Ghost).



Tell me though, the last time you played rock paper scissors, did this involve holding a mine/bomb/ or any other explosive device? and the loser gets blown to bits? I think not.



And if you did, then you're retarded.



Retarded like this minigame is.



Its pretty simple actually, but it is just needlessly time consuming. I spent a whole hour doing THIS PART alone, and not the actual fights that taken long, it was that damn cutscene.



Anyway, parts 2 and 3 of the minigame are retarded, but are horribly simple.



...part 1 however, is horribly retarded, and incredibly difficult unless you're stupidly lucky.



Have you ever been kicked in the face before? Well, I know i've not, but this minigame certainly made me feel like I had...



The first time I failed, it wasn't too bad.



Chrishh>>> Oh, this minigame makes no sense, I'll try it next time.



Then next time came along...



Chrishh>>> This minigame is stupid. I'll get it next time.



Next time came along again...



Chrishh>>> Bah! I was just unlucky. stupid minigame. Next time i'll devise a plan.



So, as promised, I devised a plan, and made a note in my notebook about the order of the qiqirns.



[Chris's Notebook]



1 2 3 4 5 6

7 8 9 10 11 12



I would scan this in, but i'm too lazy.



Basically, when I had to inspect the groups, I would circle which group it was.

For example, when I went to check groups, I chose numbers 1-4. When I chose a group on the computer, I would circle that group in my notebook.



1 2 3 4 5 6

7 8 9 10 11 12



Now from this, it will tell you whether this group would have any qiqirns in it or not, but you only get a limited amount of tries. And everytime you lose the first time (you get 2 chances in one go) then it will change the order completely. And you can't over inspect qiqirns either.



So... for example:



1 2 3 4 5 6

7 8 9 10 11 12



(The red numbers are the inspected ones. Te blue number is the one you guessed and may get wrong)



If you were meant to only find 3 qiqirns, but then chose 4 because you wern't sure, regardless if the red numbers were all correct, having that blue number still when you check to see if you were correct about which qiqirns were in disguise, will STILL make you lose that round.


Silly huh? But then it would be too easy.

Then Square Enix had to go the extra mile and make this minigame TOO difficult. On a side note, I lost this minigame 9 times in a row. Also, there are 3 rounds of inspecting qiqirns, which go up by 1 more inspected qiqirn per round.

I tell you, some of these quests that Square Enix make take things too far. And don't even get me started on the new Mythic Weapons.